id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
