you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
