Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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