love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
