we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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