Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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