What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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