If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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