I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
