No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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