Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize