my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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