I wanna passion pit in your ass
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
