shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
