after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
