Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
