Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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