She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
