the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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