you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
