To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This is not my ceiling
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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