Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
