I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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