You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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