You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
