lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
