We should be called the Road Head Warriors
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
