she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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