At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
