Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
worst night to have a conscience
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
