he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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