Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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