I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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