I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm at about main and main street
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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