i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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