so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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