I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
