guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
