dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
