i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
