what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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