Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
