I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
