Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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