What a fucking waste of an outfit
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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