I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
