God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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