Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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