Your mouth is God's brothel.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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