just come out here and I will go home with you...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
