I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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