I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize