just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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