I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize