I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
