saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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