I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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