i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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