So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
