Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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