I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is wine microwaveable?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
