i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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