im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize